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It's SO much more than just curly hair.
- kaycee@Thislittlecurl
- May 29, 2022
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 17, 2023
This weekend I've been lucky enough to escape on a Retreat with 27 other beautiful women in business. To learn how to better serve our customers as we grow and many more things. I was expecting lots of tips and tricks and strategies to streamline and better manage my time and ensuring you all get exactly what you deserve. Fabulous service, fabulous curls. Curl Confidence.
What I wasn't expecting, was that it would take me so much deeper than just Business.
Somewhere so personal. So deep inside my brain, my heart and myself.
I knew it was there, I had thought it often - but I had never really felt it.
~
It's funny how life changes... How we change.
As a child I very quickly learnt that my curls were 'different'. I learnt that they were unmanageable, messy, needed to be tamed .
As a teen I learnt it was unattractive, not 'hot', something to be made fun of and something to be ashamed of.
As a young adult I learnt it was unprofessional, undesirable, unkempt. Something that I needed to fix if I ever wanted a good job, a good husband or to simply be good.
I took all these 'learnings', all the comments, all the insults and I became them.
The crazy girl, with the crazy hair.
Insults seem to hurt a little less when you've already heard them from yourself.
Jokes seem funnier when you're making them yourself.
Right?? What I didn't know, could never know, was that soon, I would start to truly believe these things. I was untidy, unloveable, and would never be taken seriosuly. Not just my hair - ME.
I wholeheartedly believed that.
Never in my wildest imaginings did I think that, as a 31 year old women, I would FINALLY be able to say SCREW YOU to all those things I learnt.
It didn't happen over night, it didn't happen the first time I had an awesome curl day and it certainly didn't happen the 1000th time I had an awesome curl day.
But it happened.
Slowly but surely those layers peeled away.
With every Curly who cried happy tears seeing themselves after our session.
Every teen who now went to school with confidence
Every Mum who no longer felt they were torturing their curly kid with a brush
Every Corporate Curly that wore their curls and felt POWERFUL instead of ashamed.
Every compliment, every comment, every heartfelt thank you.
It happened.
Slowly but surely.
On the first day of this retreat we took turns to introduce ourselves, our business, what we loved about it and why we were here.
Listening to everyone else's stories I could feel those old learnings coming back, the self consciousness, the never being taken seriously, the feeling of not belonging in the corporate world.
Along with some newer ones.
The laughs that folk let slip when I told them I have a Curly Hair Business. The comments that all I do is put products in a box. The inverted comma fingers when someone asked how my "business" was going. I felt sick. Who was I to think I belonged in this room, with these amazing ladies. I stood up. I had no plan of what to say. Then I didn't say anything.
Instead I Cried I cried for 5yo me getting teased. I cried for the teenage me being told I would be pretty IF I had straight hair. I cried for the 17yo me who had water sprayed on her freshly straightened hair (that took 2 hours!!) because "It looks funny when it puffs out".
and I cried for every Curly who had experienced similar.
It was in that moment I truly realised what I do and why. Then I spoke.
It's not only about the business, the products, the being pretty or the perfect curls.
It's about the Curlies. It's about US.
Every . Single . One of our customers, our Social Media friends. Every curly, of every age.
Our confidence and our rights to be our natural selves.
This Little Curl, to me, is somewhere Curlies can come to feel safe, to feel welcomed, TO FEEL CELEBRATED. Whether you're new to the Curly game or you've been around a while. I want to (and I will) make as many people as I can, aware of how much more our Curls are to us. How much those comments, jokes and jibes affect us long after the fact. I NEVER want another person to feel less-than, just because of the hair on her head. And I know I'm not alone.
So here I am. Perfectly imperfect curls on my head, PROUD to be a Curly Girl.
Even more proud to be 'sticking it to the man'.
If you're ready to start your Curly Journey, check out our Basic Beginners Guide.
A step by step guide on how to start getting the best from your curls.
I would love to hear what embracing your curls means to you. Please feel free to share in the comments ❤️
This is such a raw post and I really feel like we need to thank you for that. I spent 23 years in a DV relationship, getting told I was fat, ugly, worthless and being told what I should and shouldn’t wear. I was made to straighten my hair for years because I was ridiculed even more if I didn’t. Learning how to care for my curls is part of my freedom. I love my curls and won’t be destroying them for anyone in the future. People can be mean and words most certainly do hurt, especially when repeated but we can’t control the actions of others, only our reactions.
What I can’t believe is that a program that you went to, that should be encouraging women and helping them grow their businesses, actually left you feeling that way! What happened to making women feel empowered and giving them the tools to succeed in their chosen field? That if anything should be the take away from such an event.
I understand why this would have picked the scab off of any of your deep rooted fears and doubts, but on the plus side look at what you have achieved before you even thought there could be more to know. You run your own growing business, have a family who support and have faith in your vision and awesome hair t…
Omg that was so beautiful. I nearly cried. Loved reading your story ♥️♥️
Such a lovely raw and honest blog post that I can relate to . I was a ginger with long fluffy hair, I often too struggled and can relate to many of these things .
I also felt the pressure to straighten my hair to fit in as that’s the way to look good. To look good when going out I had to straighten my hair otherwise I wasn’t “done up/dressed up”. Straightening my hair was something that had to be done to get good photos.
You definitely do more than put products in a box, you are so helpful and knowledgeable when it comes to curly hair. I have personally benefited so much from your great advice ! Thankyou…
Wow! That was amazing to read! What a journey you have been on and I must say you certainly do a lot more than “put products in a box”!
I stumbled upon This Little Curl about 3 years ago when I was trying to find a way to be able to wear my curls out more. I was stuck in a rut of wetting my hair each morning so I could brush it back into a ponytail or bun to “control” it and make it look “nice and neat”. The only time I would wear my curls out would be if I had a special occasion and I would wet it and pop some gel in without any knowledge of…